The Love Letters - Dear Mummy by Dawn Cumberbatch
Dear Mummy,
Where are you, my heart? My rock. A lot has changed in the six years since you left us and I can’t help but wonder how much better things would be if you were here. I know that’s my own helpless selfishness talking, but I know I am not alone in saying that it’s the truth. It’s my truth, anyway. You were my true north of reason and sense and enduring love and kindness. I miss your softness. Your round mummy face and your eyes that would disappear in your ready laughter. I wish I’d gotten to know you better, mummy. I regret all my tantrums throughout the years. I regret those blind, childish times that I floated through life so secure in your love and acceptance that I thought I’d never lose you. That you’d always be there to laugh at me and then clean up my mess. I regret all my insolence and withdrawals from you in the name of having my own way; of always wanting the last word. Now that I have it, it means nothing and all I want to do is give it back so that I can have you back. The impossibility of such a wish is staggering and I dare not give in to such thoughts for too long because they corrode my hopes and prayers that you are in a better place.
Daddy is doing all right, I suppose. He’s doing as well as a flag without a pole, if you catch my drift. He got a new dog last year. Doc showed up with her in a box one night. She was the runt of her litter and Daddy said he couldn’t even see her in the box because she was so small. Small and jet black with some squiggly little hind legs that made her look like she was skating on the tiles. You would’ve laughed at her and she would have loved you. She reminded me of Sacha when we first got her. Remember Sacha? The aristocrat? Anyway, I eventually named the new arrival Viva because Daddy and Doc tried to “euthanise” the poor dog. Twice. But don’t worry, she survived. I guess life had better plans for her and she’s doing as well as ever. I like to think that you had a hand in saving her from yet another of daddy’s veterinary experiments, so thanks for that. Divine intervention or not, the truth is that somehow in saving her, she’s actually saving him. And I’m grateful for that.
Miss “not so little” Aaleyah is doing well. She’ll be ten soon. She’s a lovely and sensitive girl, as you know. I ask her from time to time if she remembers her Gran Gran and she always says yes, but I can never be sure if her memories are of you or if they’re memories of images of you we’ve shared with her. Either way, we do our best to ensure you’re not forgotten.
Paula and Shari are doing well, too. I’m sure they have their moments of private grief, but I’ll let them speak for themselves. I do have a confession, though: I haven’t really been visiting Aunty Lorna or talking to Uncle Cecil as often as I should. I haven’t seen Aunty Joan in ages, too. To be honest, being around them has felt unbearable because their presence only heightens your absence. Their living just underscores your passing. With the exception of Aunty Joan, who seems intent on staying forever young, Reds and Fla are aging. Their frailty reminds me so much of you and the thought of it is really too much to take. So I avoid it and them, and I compound my own guilt by constantly making excuses for it. I promise you, though, that I will try to do better. Soon. I promise.
Anyway, mummy darling. I think of you everyday. The time has dulled the pain somewhat, but it has only made it bearable in a way that allows me to remember you with appreciation and deep gratitude for your life and the impact you’ve had on mine. You will always be in my heart.
Love,
Dawnin’
Dawn Cumberbatch is the co-founder and managing director of Doux Doux Darling Productions Limited, a video and event production company. She also co-founded The Caribbean Memory Project, an open-access vernacular digital archive, and she is the sole proprietor of TriniBnB.com as well as Virtual Carnival, a creative agency specialising in interactive content to advertise and promote cultural events, sites and traditions.
Dawn's work in film/video production includes co-writing and directing documentaries for the Caribbean Industrial Research Institute (CARIRI), the Inter-American Development Bank, the Employer’s Consultative Association, National AIDS Coordinating Committee, and the Ministry of Social Development. She was line producer on 7 Million Productions’ feature film, The Ghost of Hing King Estate and Shaun Escayg Productions’ Fish; production manager on numerous commercials shot locally, as well as in the Bahamas, Barbados and St. Lucia; production assistant and researcher on London-based Zenith Entertainment's Our House/Our Home series for UKTV Style; Associate Producer for Marathon Films (Paris) for a series of children’s documentaries shot on location in Trinidad; and Production Assistant for Paris-based Dum Dum Films and Rituals Music on several music videos.
Prior to her move to television and film production, Dawn worked in varying capacities from Stage and Business Manager to Producer with Nobel Laureate, Derek Walcott and the Trinidad Theater Workshop since 1992. Dawn has also worked as the Interim Media Relations Director and as the Assistant to the Communications Director at Arena Stage in Washington, D.C. as part of the company's prestigious Allen Lee Hughes Fellowship. In the Fellowship programme’s 20- year history, Dawn had the unique honour of being one of only two people invited to participate for a second season at Arena Stage.
In 2001, Dawn was awarded a full scholarship to Boston University where she pursued a degree in film and television with an emphasis on screenwriting and production. Dawn was named Boston University’s Outstanding Student Screenwriter in 2004. Her short film script, Fresh Kills won first prize in the Gary Fleder/Scott Rosenberg Short Screenplay Competition at Boston University and was a finalist in both the Colour of Film Collaborative and the Roy W. Dean New York Film Grant Competitions of 2005.
Upon graduation (summa cum laude) Dawn worked briefly for WABC Boston Channel 5 as a Public Affairs Associate. Upon her return to Trinidad, she garnered the support of the Trinidad and Tobago Film Company’s Script Development Fund to develop her feature- length screenplay, Lex Talionis. Her screen adaptation of Michael Anthony's Green Days by the River premiered in 2017 at the Trinidad and Tobago Film Festival.
