Mixed-ish - The Caribbean Remix by Melysah Charles-John

October 2019 is Black History Month in the UK, an annual celebration originally founded to recognise the contributions of people from African and Caribbean backgrounds to the UK over many generations.  This celebration (according to BBC Newsround)  ‘expanded to include the history of not just Afro-Caribbean people but all black people in general’  (does anyone know what this even means?)

I moved to the UK from the Caribbean about 22 years ago, social media was not a thing then so finding your people, networking and generally honing in on events of interest to me as an Island Girl was a challenge.  A few years later, hello Black History Month, with an entire arsenal of events and experiences I resonated with. As I lived in East London at the time, I decided to attend an event at a venue in Hackney.  I’d worked in Hackney for a short while, so it had become my stomping ground of sorts.  I was familiar with the neighborhood and loved it. Hackney to me most resembled my home communities in the Caribbean and was filled with people who I identified with culturally (or so I thought). What I didn’t expect when I arrived at the venue was to be asked by one of the organisers if I was in the right place, and did I know that this was an event for black history month. He actually looked at me like I was lost.  Think for a moment, how I felt about BHM before arriving at this event.

This is my story in brief.

Allow me to take you on a quick journey of knowing myself to be and identifying as a female of Black Caribbean (Mom) & White Irish (Dad) descent who has lived an equal number of years in the Caribbean and the UK.  Now, every time I manage to convince myself that there is only one human race someone pops up and calls me “mixed-race”, but it’s ok, for lack of a better alternative we’ll go with that.  Just a few decades ago, the existence of mixed-heritage children was frowned upon due to the many socially related issues, now here we are one of the fastest growing “tribes” in the UK!  There is indeed a misconception that being of mixed heritage particularly of black & white, is synonymous with having the “best of both worlds”; we are born lucky. The reality is, or at least my reality is that just like any other demographic , there are easy, difficult, kind, unpleasant days, a combination of all but my experiences have undoubtedly influenced how I choose to live – simply human.

I grew up in the Caribbean with my maternal grandparents and although I dipped in and out of 3 islands; St Lucia, Barbados & Trinidad, life on any island was generally the same, colourism was  undeniably a wild and crazy existence. It was everywhere. How society addressed me is where my painful memories lie, I was considered “the white girl” and subjected on many occasions to taunts of that effect.  I was the butt of all white jokes but had no connection whatsoever to my European heritage.  I had so many questions and luckily my mother, my font of all knowledge,  graciously helped her child to understand a bit more about her ‘otherness’.   Mom, thank you for introducing me to Bob Marley’s story, it was his story which helped me to finally see myself and be comfortable in my own skin as a Caribbean girl.

Forward many years later, it was time to move to England to further my studies, at least that’s how my folks sold the experience.  I remember my grandad saying to me “with your skin complexion, you will be fine” (I remember cringing at his words), but for the most part, admittedly I have been.  I don’t often experience racism; and whilst I am very aware of my privilege of  being mixed, judged or awarded favour based on my proximity to either being black enough or white enough, discrimination of other flavours irk me just as much e.g. age, gender or accent.  I have a word limit (darn it!), so can’t go into detail but these are some scenes from my world.  I worked at an international investment bank; my first week around day 4 I didn’t feel great and mentioned it to another female colleague in passing.  Her response was “if you want to succeed in this environment, you can’t afford to be sick”.  That was one of the many things I couldn’t afford to be; I couldn’t dress a certain way because I wouldn’t be taken seriously, so along came a wardrobe full of tailored suits; the sound of my voice in meetings was met with quizzical looks, who is she? and so I “adjusted” my accent, I never managed to work out how to be less female.  When I moved on from that firm I changed drastically as a person, I’d learnt a lot about myself and felt better prepared for the corporate world, it was almost like I’d had a dry run.  The change was not to make myself more accepted, I grew in confidence; I became resilient, I pushed boundaries and engaged ‘colour’ conversations with pride.  Times are adjusting, I believe we are moving past the days where people have such rigid expectations but there is still lots to do.  I contribute to work-streams and conversations in the workplace on the importance of inclusion and diversity of thought in the hope that as time goes on, we will see an improvement.

Outside the concrete jungle, this will surprise you, the issues are much more personal and equally there is work to be done.  At the start of my blog, I mentioned my Caribbean culture being what I identify with; there is no doubt a disconnect between how I identify and how others identify me.  I’m always keen to be involved in projects where I can showcase and promote the talents of my fellow Caribbean people, I want to visually represent “us” but the way I “look” means I’m most times overlooked; too light, hair not ‘fro enough, the company I keep and the list goes on.  I hope in time we wholeheartedly embrace the richness and diversity of our islands, our people and our culture rather than create an exclusive environment where some of us are not welcomed.

Beyond BHM, my thoughts to readers would be to celebrate who you are and each other’s differences, celebrate our strengths, and be more inclusive, after all we are one Caribbean…right?

Melysah Charles-John is a Senior Business Analyst in the Financial Services industry and lives in London with her husband Mark & adorable Son Kymani.

She is hugely passionate about ‘Mas’ and all things Carnival and outside of her 9-5 life contributes heavily to the artform in the UK . Melysah is also an avid sports fan and proud supporter of Arsenal Football Club (she’s convinced that better days are ahead!)
Passionate about mentoring and community volunteering, Melysah has shared info on a few of the initiatives which she supports (outside of IGR) below:

Whitechapel Mission: My contribution was the breakfast challenge however, the Mission has been serving the homeless for ~143 years by offering a day centre, skills training and career advice, activity programmes and specialist support for complex needs. They encourage people to address the issues which caused their homelessness and help them to gain the skills and confidence to make lasting changes in their lives. They believe everyone deserves a chance, regardless of their background, race or religion.

WWT London Wetland Centre: A wetland reserve managed by the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust in the Barnes area whose work involves saving critically endangered species from extinction, they work with communities around the world who depend on wetlands and inspire people to take care of nature.

Ambition Aspire Achieve: A flagship adventure play, sports and youth hub in Canning Town running projects all year round to provide a Newham-wide delivery and resource base for young people with disabilities and/or additional needs and their families.