Navigating Motherhood and a Career by Falon Paris - Caines
It’s Mother’s Day in the UK, and I’ve taken some time to reflect on my journey of being a working (outside of the home) mother. Balancing career aspirations with the joys and challenges of motherhood can be rewarding though, in my experience, at times overwhelming (and not in a good way). Today, I want to share a glimpse into my journey as a Caribbean-rooted working mother, and also celebrate the resilience and determination of all mothers and mother figures who strive to excel in both their personal and professional lives.
As a proud Caribbean woman (St. Kitts and Nevis massive weh you deh?!), the values of family, community, and perseverance have always been ingrained in me. Growing up in Nevis I witnessed the strength and resilience of the women in my family and community, who seemed to effortlessly balance their roles as mothers, entrepreneurs, and professionals. It meant I never saw being a mother as meaning I couldn’t pursue my professional dreams or goals. Admittedly, I didn’t give much thought to how becoming a mother would impact my career. I had seen it navigated successfully time and time again by the team of formidable mothers who surrounded me.
I vividly remember pulling out my phone when I was in early labour with my first child, messaging my then-manager to let her know that the baby was on its way but that it was very early stages and I would probably just log in from home the next morning and work until things got intense (was I insane?!). Of course her reply was to take care and focus on the major life event at hand. She later told me how she laughed and shook her head when she read my message.
Fast forward when reality set in, and I returned to work after maternity leave when my son was just 6 months old. I soon found out that being a mother while pursuing a career in Communications definitely presented its challenges. From late-night feedings and early morning meetings to having to miss networking opportunities, and of course that feeling that surfaces ever so often that I’m not as far as I would be in my career had I not become a mother. Every day has brought new challenges … but also new experiences and opportunities to grow.
Throughout my career, I’ve been blessed to work with colleagues and for organisations that enabled me to work flexibly. I've learned to embrace flexibility myself, prioritise tasks, and ask for help when needed (though I admit the asking for help part is a work in progress). It's a delicate balancing act, and nearly 9 years into motherhood I’m still trying to find the sweet spot where I’m not burnt out but also feel in control and on top of things. Some days I get it right, and some days I’m sobbing because I’m late for a meeting and sent the children to school in Christmas jumpers when it wasn’t Christmas jumper day (true story - over two years later, and my eldest won’t let me live it down).
There is a certain pressure being a woman, being a mother and being black Caribbean living away from my home country - a pressure to prove myself, to excel in my career and to raise children in a diaspora setting who are happy, confident and proud of their heritage. It can be exhausting. I am learning to accept that as long as I’m doing my best with the energy and time available to me on any given day, then that is enough. My best will look different on different days, and that’s ok.
As we celebrate Mother's Day, let us take a moment to honour the remarkable mothers and mother figures who embody the spirit of resilience, determination, and love. Let us think about what we can do in our own workplaces to address some of the challenges they can face.
To all the working mothers out there, I see you. I know things are not always perfect - some days are really hard but please know that to many your journey is appreciated and your contributions are invaluable. Together, let's continue to thrive, inspire, and make a difference in the world, both at work and in the lives of our children and families. Happy Mother's Day!