Taking Up Space - Alexia Lenoir on being Caribbean and Queer

‘I’m deliberate and afraid of nothing’ -Audre Lorde

Words that truly resonate for the LGBTQ+ community but are hard to live by for most of us.

I was born and raised in Paris, a city where being out has come with its issues but has not been punished by imprisonment during my time growing up. I had a very simplistic upbringing in comparison to some of the stories I still hear to this day.

Although I have a Caribbean father, not growing up having him in my life has definitely challenged the ties I have with my dear Guadeloupe. From a very young age I fondly remember the very rare trips my brother and I used to take with him every few years, which I was somewhat reluctant to take in the first place, mostly because I had not really had the opportunity to get to know him and so spending this time with him was quite daunting at first. I also didn’t know my family in Guadeloupe well either and up until that time ‘island life’ seemed so far removed from what I knew of the world. This feeling of unease and ‘unbelonging’ definitely alleviated over the years as my time spent there grew more consistent and I would soon fall in love with my beloved island.

One thing I was sure of though, as I grew older after moving to the UK: I would never totally fit there (Guadeloupe). The very part of my being that I was trying to be comfortable with, my queerness, was the very part I was unable to let out whilst in the Caribbean. We heard it on TV, in the songs, on the radio, at our neighbours’ cookout, from our cousins and friends that ‘chi chi man and lesbians’ are not welcome here. My very existence would never be tolerated let alone celebrated and I had no place or no one to express those feelings to. But to my relief, I did not live there and was perfectly comfortable hiding this part of my identity whilst continuing to attend my queer nights in London and live my absolute best life. I had found refuge in this city where people who like me were free to be themselves.

Artwork by Alicia LaRosa

But what about my community of LGBTQ+ people who were still struggling to get their voice heard? What about those who endure constant violence, oppression, and even death? How can I actively do work that would amplify those voices? I remember joining UK Black Pride and thinking that this would be where I can really make a difference and reach out to those communities. The work that Lady Phyll has been doing for more than 15 years to create a platform like UK Black Pride where all the marginalised people would feel home has been a huge source of inspiration. I admire the fact that she has worked relentlessly throughout her life to put those people at the forefront and generate the change we want to see. We must never forget those who paved the way for us, and the way Lady Phyll has lifted up the spirits of those who never thought they would have the chance at life is remarkable. 

I’m proud to work for such an organisation and I hold my community in my heart to continue fighting against injustice, for me and my fiancée, for my peers, and for the next generations to come.

I am black, queer, Caribbean, and everything in between.

Acknowledging that I’m privileged in my own disposition and being able to actively work towards the liberation of our rights is what keeps me going. In the words of Desmond Tutu: ‘If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor’. 

Hailing from Paris and based in London, Alexia Lenoir is the founder of Queer Weddings UK, the first company in the UK to provide wedding experiences to the LGBTQ+ community, and Head of Operations at UK Black Pride. She has featured in Gay Times, Diva Magazine, and Gay Wedding Blog. She also shares an Instagram account @thequeernomads with her fiancée Aisha to amplify the voices of black & queer travellers.

Follow Alexia on @lexie_lenoir & @queerweddingsuk